It turns out being an adult is mostly Googling how to do stuff.
One time we got in such an argument over where to eat we finally stayed home and Carrie made spaghetti. You could actually taste the frustration and anger in the sauce. From that point forward, that dish has been known as “Angry Spaghetti”. We’ve never had “Angry Spaghetti” since.
The question was: What was something that was done to you as a child, although insignificant now, that still makes you furious? My Answer: I went to parochial school for K-12 and my childhood was filled with nuns and priests and other terrors. To this day I’ll never forgive my Kindergarten teacher Sr. Vincent. One … Read more
St Charles of Thanksgiving the patron saint of the forgotten holiday presents A Thanksgiving poem, in free verse. Give me your turkey, your stuffingYour extended family yearning for free foodRefuse thy retail temptationsOn this most holy day of feastingand footballand beer While today ushers in the great holiday seasonLet us not forget the reason we … Read more
…or how I ended up eating an entire jar of olives one night.
My last day at the Sheriff’s Office. Brandon made a post on Facebook. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
I miss ThinkGeek and their witty IT-themed apparel.
At every new job, I spend the first few weeks looking for “my” bathroom. The one that’s less popular, usually clean, and bonus points for a locking door. When I worked for the County, I found a candidate at the Data Center that checked all the boxes except for this glaring downside. I could not … Read more
Posted on Facebook 2012-12-20 In light of the fact that tomorrow might be the last day of earth, I wanted to take this time to apologize and explain a number of things that I’ve been keeping inside for many years. Just in case tomorrow is NOT the last day of earth, I am keeping the … Read more
Carrie just shuffled behind my chair on her way to the bedroom, unknowingly building up an intense electrostatic charge. She then reached out lovingly and patted me on the head, discharging 1.21 gigawatts into my poor bald spot. Now I don’t know math.
Wherein I declare myself the founder of the “Defense of Thanksgiving Tradition Society” I posted this to Facebook. I was my second try at taking out my frustrations on Christmas Creep. I called out a number of specific violations, but never tagged those offenders or really did anything about it. This one wasn’t as strong … Read more