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Today in Batuu, a staff member taught me how to take burst-photos with my phone and then select a single frame that gives the illusion of magic. Unfortunately, Joe has never seen Star Wars and only held his hand out as instructed. Ashley, however knew what to do, and I was able to capture this sweet photo of her being force-choked in front of the Millennium Falcon.
During my time working at the Sheriff’s Office, I had the privilege of being able to traverse the building freely since I was part of IT. Any room that had a computer was a potential visit for us in case we needed to plug something in or turn something off and on again. One afternoon, a few of us were tasked with setting up donated computers in one of the classrooms. ...
So we had a Pokémon Go incident a few days ago. This mother and son came to the office asking if they could catch the Pikachu that likes to hang around here. I didn’t see a problem so I let them in. Well the kid was super excited, running and jumping around everywhere. Well, he wasn’t looking where he was going, and he slammed his head into a shelf unit. ...
Pro Wrestler name or Porn star name? Either way I am picking from this list the next time I am stopped in the mall for a survey. Slab Bulkhead Fridge Largemeat Punt Speedchunk Butch Deadlift Bold Bigflank Splint Chesthair Flint Ironstag Bolt Vanderhuge Thick McRunfast Blast Hardcheese Buff Drinklots Trunk Slamchest Fist Rockbone Stump Beefgnaw Smash Lampjaw Punch Rockgroin Buck Plankchest Stump Chunkman Dirk Hardpeck Rip Steakface Slate Slabrock Crud Bonemeal ...
So we go to Best Buy to buy some computer stuff that was on sale. I get to the Geek Squad counter and show the guy my phone with the items I want, in stock at that store and the price. He gets them and tells me the price is $10 more than I planned. I show him my phone with the sale price. He is unfazed. He cannot sell me the items at the advertised price. I thank him and walk away. ...
Let me tell you about the people I work with. First, there’s this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I’ll admit, she’s pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on her makeup. She is extremely self-centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe. ...
The bathroom lights at work have automatic motion sensors. This happens more often than I’d like.
One time we got in such an argument over where to eat we finally stayed home and Carrie made spaghetti. You could actually taste the frustration and anger in the sauce. From that point forward, that dish has been known as “Angry Spaghetti”. We’ve never had “Angry Spaghetti” since.