Let me tell you about the people I work with. First, there’s this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I’ll admit, she’s pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on her makeup. She is extremely self-centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe. ...
The bathroom lights at work have automatic motion sensors. This happens more often than I’d like.
One time we got in such an argument over where to eat we finally stayed home and Carrie made spaghetti. You could actually taste the frustration and anger in the sauce. From that point forward, that dish has been known as “Angry Spaghetti”. We’ve never had “Angry Spaghetti” since.
The question was: What was something that was done to you as a child, although insignificant now, that still makes you furious? My Answer: I went to parochial school for K-12 and my childhood was filled with nuns and priests and other terrors. To this day I’ll never forgive my Kindergarten teacher Sr. Vincent. One day I complained of having a headache and asked to put my head on my desk and she refused, telling me that “Only teachers and parents get headaches.” ...
St Charles of Thanksgiving the patron saint of the forgotten holiday presents A Thanksgiving poem, in free verse. Give me your turkey, your stuffingYour extended family yearning for free foodRefuse thy retail temptationsOn this most holy day of feastingand footballand beer While today ushers in the great holiday seasonLet us not forget the reason we gather togetherand it’s not for great pricesdeep discountsor doorbusters Breaking bread with thy familyis rare enough these daysToday is the dayto stop and take a breathand relax ...
…or how I ended up eating an entire jar of olives one night.
My last day at the Sheriff’s Office. Brandon made a post on Facebook. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
I miss ThinkGeek and their witty IT-themed apparel.
At every new job, I spend the first few weeks looking for “my” bathroom. The one that’s less popular, usually clean, and bonus points for a locking door. When I worked for the County, I found a candidate at the Data Center that checked all the boxes except for this glaring downside. I could not imagine watching myself shit. Who does this?
Went to see “Oz: The Great and Powerful”. This is all I could think throughout the whole thing. I posted this to Twitter right after we saw the movie and got so much shit from people thanking me for ruining the surprise. Still not sorry. It’s funny.