Car

I finally made use of the front license plate holder on my car.Better is the view from your rearview mirror if I’m behind you. Heeeere’s Johnny!

In November 2009 I started a journal to help myself deal with yet another car problem. Since then, I have added other writings to the journal and tried to make it a more full compendium of my digital journaling. But it started with a car problem. Not just any car problem, but, at the time, the latest in a long line of car problems that was slowly squeezing my sanity. Hell, re-read some of these blog posts and see how often the car is the subject of any particular entry. That damned Saturn stole a lot of my life over the last 13 years. ...

After it was all over, I knew I was going to have to write about it. I don’t know why. Perhaps I like re-reading my miserable days? Maybe there’s something inside of me that feels it necessary to document these things? My therapist asked me once why I write about my problems and then keep the results? Why don’t I write about them, then throw them away? I don’t know. Maybe that’s a good idea. ...

Occam’s Razor states that “Among competing hypotheses, the one which makes the fewest assumptions should be selected"Occam’s Razor In other words, the simplest answer is usually correct. On my way into work this morning, I stopped for gas and as I was driving in, I slowly became aware of an ominous clunking sound coming from the back of the car whenever I made a turn or went over a big bump. My first thought, of course, was that the rear axle has become separated from the car and fiery death was imminent. ...

So, we’re in the empty parking lot and Ashley’s practicing maneuverability with the new car, when a guy pulls up and asks me if I do this (teach driving) professionally? Me: Ummm… no. Him: If I gave you a couple bucks could you teach my mom how to do this (referring to the cones)? Me: Tell ya what, we’re up here most evenings. If we’re here, I’d be glad to help. ...

Ok… it’s been all summer since I wrote a new blog post. Well, actually, I have been busy on another blog and of course, it’s almost Creepy Clevelandseason! But today was kinda special. Today I made great progress in dealing with my horrible, irrational fear of my car by performing some ‘recommended maintenance’. For the past year or so, every time I take the car to Firestone for an oil change, I get one of those ‘Recommended Services’ sheets and a cheerful smile at the end. The recommended services are always the same… fuel filter ($138), spark plugs and wires ($167) and a transmission flush (some non-affordable amount I don’t remember). ...

First of all, let me apologize in advance if the following sounds a bit, well, severe. It’s had all morning to bake in my head until it was golden brown and ready to be served… I woke up this morning and turned on the news as usual. What did I see? IT’S SNOWING!! Yes, goddamn it, it’s snowing already. It’s not even Thanksgiving! You know what that means? It means winter is here. I hate winter. I hate the cold with a passion normally reserved for war criminals and Ravens fans. There I was standing out at the bus stop freezing my balls off and thinking about winter. And when I think about winter I don’t think about snowmen and Christmas carols and spiced apple-cider. I think about my car. ...

I miiight be a redneck… Ok, boys and girls, gather ‘round for another chapter of"I Hate My Car!" Yesterday, while driving around, I heard a thud followed by a series of smaller thuds. Upon arriving at our destination, I checked it out and found out that the muffler strap that I just had put on 18 months ago had rusted through. The original muffler strap lasted 5 years. The replacement lasted a year and a half. Damn it. ...

So we wake up this morning to a phone call. The first thought that goes through my head was…“Oh, shit! Who died now??” As it turns out - nobody died. Joe got in a car accident this morning out in North Royalton. It seems he was hit in the tire. (yeah - in the driver’s side tire. That’s it. To look at the car, you’d never know anything was wrong - no body damage at all.) The tie rod is all bent at a 45-degree angle and the strut is bent too. Luckily, the lady that hit him admitted fault completely and turned everything over to her insurance company. He had the car towed to North Olmsted Dodge, and we went out to North Royalton to pick him up. He’s getting a loaner car on Monday, so I’m playing chauffeur all weekend. ...

A Super Bowl and a Super Bill. So we went to Divot’s for the Super Bowl last night. We had a designated driver, so I’m lucky I even remember the final score. Had a great time, hung out with family and friends and even had my picture taken with my heroes: IM000338.JPG This morning after the worst part of the hang-over had passed Carrie and I finally dragged ourselves out and took the car to Firestone to see what the hell that grind-y, clunky noise was. ...