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You can't change the wallpaper!

Windows 7 Starter Edition is the devil.

Talk about luck. I guess I can never say I’ve never been lucky. Yesterday we picked up two netbooks (one for Ashley, one for Carrie) for the low, low price of $75 a piece.

WHAT? Yeah, no shit. Apparently, Walmart is getting rid of all their old stock and was selling off their stock at ridiculous prices (75% off!)

They’re both Acer Aspire One’s. One is purple (Ashley) and the other is blue (Carrie). They came stock with Windows 7 Starter edition.

Whatever. I didn’t even let Carrie’s boot all the way up before I was wiping that shit off and installing Ubuntu Netbook Remix. It took a while to figure out the wireless card, but as of now she’s surfing the internet from anyplace in the house with her new laptop.

Ashley’s was a different story. I had to bring it to work (because I ran out of time last night) and set it up to dual-boot. (Linux/Win7) I don’t want Ashley using Windows any more than she has to, but there are times when she must use IE for school (total bullshit, but whatever).

Ubuntu installed without a hitch and I rebooted to get all the useless trial-ware off the Windows side. Goodbye McAffe Trial. See ya Office 2007 60-day student edition. Later Netflix (Really? We need a Netflix icon?) Bu-bye Ebay…

I got everything set up nicely and went to give Ashley some nice new wallpaper.

But how?

Really? Where the fuck is the desktop image/background/wallpaper properties?

I finally gave up and looked it up online, thinking there must be some magical incantation to change the wallpaper. What did I find out? Something far more sinister.

You can’t.

That’s right, goddamn it, you can’t change the wallpaper on Windows 7 starter edition.

WHAT THE FUCK? Changing your wallpaper is considered a “premium” feature that requires a higher version of Windows 7. HOLY SHIT!! I am so fucking glad that I don’t have to deal with this shit.

Sorry Ashley. If you need IE, you can log into this sterile looking Win7 desktop.

But when you’re done - come on back to a full-featured netbook OS (complete with wobbly windows, anti-aliased fonts and spinning desktop cube-ish-ness)

If I was less tech savvy and had spent even the low, low price that we spent, I would be pissed.

What a load of shit, Microsoft.

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