Non-Tech on Planet Hawleywood

Don't Start Now

Wed, 22 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0000

After my most recent bout with bladder cancer I was ruminating and spending time on a support board online. I read a post where the person was anxiously awaiting thier first 3-month checkup after their first TURBT. They complained about the anxiety.

Feelings I knew all too well.

Having done this twice now, I did not want to shit on their parade, but I also wanted to warn him about putting all his eggs in that first 3-month checkup basket.

The sequel nobody asked for: The 'C' Word Part II

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0000

I have a recurrence of my bladder cancer (see The ‘C’ Word) and once again I am documenting my experience.

On September 10, I went for my routine follow-up cystoscopy. Normally, you go every 3 months, then every 6, then once a year as long as the scans are clean. I was clean for two years as of last year, so this was my first yearly visit. This was my log entry when I got home.

What's a Ouija Wall?

Sun, 07 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0000

During a chat with an AI, I twice mentioned having to “put up the Ouija Wall”. I did not expect it to zone in on that term. So I explained myself. And then gave it a job.

AI Response 1

What the fuck is a Ouija wall? And how are you putting it up before people wake up? You must be a damn magician. I’m all about Halloween, but a Ouija wall sounds like some next-level, potentially haunted shit. Are you sure you’re not inviting something you’re not ready for? Just kidding… mostly.

The Perfect Weekend

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0000

This weekend is kind of a big deal. Carrie and I are celebrating our birthdays. Hers is tomorrow, Saturday, August 30. Mine is Sunday, August 31. Labor Day is on Monday, September 1. A three-day weekend where our birthdays land on Saturday and Sunday. The stars have aligned.

What are the odds? Seriously. Let’s find out. How many times has this happened since we’ve been together? Not a lot. This weekend is a once-in-a-blue-moon kind of deal.

Fuck your productivity system. Seriously

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 00:00:00 +0000

From Reddit

Fuck your Notion templates that took longer to set up than actually doing the work.
Fuck your 27 different colored highlighters for “time blocking” - you’re not mapping the genome, you’re writing a grocery list.
Fuck your morning routine that starts at 4AM. The only thing you’re optimizing is your caffeine addiction and sleep deprivation.
Fuck your pomodoro timer. If I wanted to live my life in 25-minute chunks, I’d go back to high school.
Fuck your inbox zero - emails multiply like rabbits anyway. Who are you trying to impress?
Fuck your 17 different productivity apps that all sync together in some ungodly digital centipede. You spend more time maintaining this shit than actually working.
Fuck “deep work” when you can’t even focus long enough to finish reading this post without checking your phone.
Fuck your habit tracker that’s giving you anxiety because you missed one day of meditation and now your perfect streak is ruined.

Here’s what actually works: Do the fucking thing. That’s it. Stop reading productivity on Medium. Stop watching YouTubers tell you how they organize their day in 15-minute intervals. Stop buying notebooks that cost more than your hourly rate.

Goodbye (again) old friends

Wed, 31 Jul 2024 00:00:00 +0000

I bought these shoes in July 2023. I have another pair of “comfortable shoes” for walking, but these have been my exercise shoes.

Since I put these into the rotation last August 1, I have walked almost every day. According to Samsung Health, I’ve walked just under 2.5 million steps in a year.

I’m retiring these shoes today after logging just over 1100 miles. I am replacing them with a new pair just like them.

On Journaling

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Summer 2024. I’ve gone back to writing in a notebook.

On May 28, someone posted a deal from meh.com in a Slack channel at work about a sale on the Panda Planner by Rocketbook. I’d heard of Rocketbook during my recent obsession with e-ink writing devices, but this was an opportunity to check them out for $20 and maybe get a handle on my day-to-day better at the same time.

G-Pa Slip and Fall Compilation

Sat, 09 Dec 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Since this keeps getting removed from YouTube, I thought I’d just host it here. God forbid TruTV or MTV get a little promotion.

July 4, 2010, at a family picnic my father tried to “Slip and Slide”. It did not go well, but he was unharmed. I got the entire thing on video and posted it online. Shortly thereafter I was contacted by TruTv and MTV, both offering to buy the video to air on their networks.

Salem 2023 - Day 2

Sat, 07 Oct 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Observations from day 2

It’s October! We’re very excited! Everybody got a good night’s sleep. And there are turkeys! This morning there was full-on, Thanksgiving turkeys just walking around the parking lot checking out the cars (our included) like it was their job. If you ask me, I think that portends that it’s going to be a good week.

Turkeys!

9:35 AM. We got to the Beverly station and found that the train’s going to be late. Like over an hour late. Hey, you know, life goes on. Everything will be fine.

Blue Sky Garden 2023

Tue, 11 Jul 2023 00:00:00 +0000

My job has garden plots and I signed up with a few teammates for this year’s harvest. We’ve planted tomatoes, peppers, blueberries, cucumbers and potatoes. Here goes nothin…

Planting day - 2023-05-17 2023-05-23 2023-05-30 2023-06-06 2023-06-13 2023-06-22 2023-06-27 2023-07-11

Days of the Dead 2023 - Indianapolis

Sun, 25 Jun 2023 00:00:00 +0000

The trip from Cleveland to Indianapolis was pleasantly uneventful until about an hour outside of Indianapolis when we ran into a backup caused by an accident. It must have been a big one, because as the delay approached an hour and people were starting to get out of their cars, Ashley found a news brief stating that I-70 West was completely closed and the estimate for opening was another 2 hours!We started noticing a few cars riding the shoulder. After wondering where they thought they were going, we, too, joined them and exited the highway. A convoy of traffic plowed down an “Unknown Road” (Google’s terminology) at break-neck speeds (no speed limit signs were posted). With farms on both sides, this road was not big enough for two lanes of traffic, but we managed when we passed a few trucks going the opposite way. In the end we lost about 30 minutes and made it to the hotel just before 6:00 PM.

Art the Clown Meet and Greet - Detroit, MI

Sat, 17 Jun 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Terrified of Clowns?

We got up at 5:30 AM and were on the road to Detroit before 6:30 AM. We needed to get to Screamer’s Costumes before they opened, so we could meet David Howard Thornton (Art the Clown) from the Terrifier film series.

We arrived just before 9:00 AM, and it was good that we did. There were probably 200 people in line in front of us by then.

We finally got to meet him and Amelie McLain (the Little Pale Girl) just before 1:00 PM. It was a long day of standing in line, but it was made tolerable by a few cosplayers who entertained the crowd and took photos. It was also a great day weather-wise: sunny and 80 degrees. Luckily the line was outdoors but under an overhang that prevented us from standing in the sun for hours.

The Important Stuff Will Come Back

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 00:00:00 +0000

I don’t buy this theory that simply writing things down somehow reduces stress. All it means is that those things are now on a piece of paper or some kind of digital list, usually in our pocket at all hours of the day, mocking us for not being able to finish them. Maybe instead of optimizing our means of capturing ideas, we need to optimize our brain’s spam filter. Good ideas and important reminders will rise to the top, and if we think about them once we’ll think about them again. Matt Wood - The Important Stuff Will Come Back

The 'C' Word

Thu, 27 Oct 2022 00:00:00 +0000

The First Symptoms

In July 2022, I was on day two of a weekend party at the lake about an hour from home. We had lodging accommodations, so I’d been drinking. Not to the point of inebriation, but enough that I was glad I didn’t have to drive all the way home. I’d spent the previous evening drinking beer and the entire day drinking Corona Seltzers. I had probably 9 seltzers in as many hours. Again, not inebriated (not even buzzed), but I’d had nothing else to drink all day. The weather went from stifling hot overcast with no moving air to sunny and very windy all day long.

The Case for Norma Crandall

Sun, 14 Aug 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I’m no bibliophile, but I’ve read a lot of books and recently while discussing the “book was better” trope of horror movies, we talked about how it is pretty common knowledge that Stephen King hated Stanley Kubrick’s take on his story of “The Shining”. Not because it was better, but because Kubrick fundamentally changed the story.

I was asked if I’d ever heard about Stephen King being upset over other screen-versions of his books, and I admitted that I don’t know. I’ve read a lot of Stephen King, but not everything. It’s rare that the movie duplicates the flow of the book, and in some cases there are elements of a book that just do not translate to film and have to be either forced via creative effects and bad CGI or eliminated altogether.

Tumblr Share Test Post

Thu, 11 Aug 2022 00:00:00 +0000

https://stirfriedrandom-blog.tumblr.com/post/686444288015532032/i-just-had-one-of-them-40-hour-days-and-now-my

https://stirfriedrandom-blog.tumblr.com/post/679982407036862464/im-in-this-picture-and-i-dont-like-it

https://stirfriedrandom-blog.tumblr.com/post/689129746251071488

Taking Notes

Wed, 20 Nov 2019 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve taken a keen interest in note-taking in general and recently I’ve been obsessed with how other people do it.

I’ve always taken a keen interest in note-taking in general, and recently I’ve been obsessed with how other people do it.

There tends to be a push toward avoiding information silos while at the same time making your content available or at least putting it online where it can be found, (even if you specifically aren’t writing for mass consumption).

Chuck 5.0

Sat, 31 Aug 2019 00:00:00 +0000

Today I am 50. This is one of those big birthdays.

Being a technical-minded person and realizing there have been a lot of changes in the past year, I decided I needed to document these changes in a proper changelog:

Notable changes to this project will be documented in this file.

The format is based on Keep a Changelog, and this project adheres to Your Version Number

Chuck v5.0 – 2019-08-31

Chuck v5.0 debuts the first version in over 15 years wherein all diagnostic tests have passed without a margin of error.
Several changes have been implemented in an effort to improve stability and reduce wear and tear.
Increased overall CPU speed by one year (linear) and overall memory has been given an upgrade
Fixed bug to remove the embarrassment of exposed chassis to the sun, water, air, and sand

Added

The Century Mark

Mon, 25 Feb 2019 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday morning I achieved the century mark in weight loss. After stalling at 90-something pounds down since the beginning of the year, yesterday I officially lost 100 pounds! I said that when I saw 234 on the scale I would take a picture and post in on Facebook and make a big deal out of it.

Well here’s the picture. There has yet to be a Facebook post. Or a big deal.

Non-alcoholic Stress Relief

Thu, 18 Oct 2018 00:00:00 +0000

I have had exactly one drink in the last three months since starting my liver-healthy diet.

I had an especially bad day yesterday. Not really bad in the grand scheme of things, but bad in my own head. Too many unplanned things happened in too quick succession which left me feeling under attack and over-whelmed. A few hours later things looked much better and I was able to process everything.

The number starts with a '2'!

Mon, 27 Aug 2018 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve made it below 300 pounds!

Yesterday I weighed in at 295 pounds. I am officially lighter than my driver’s license (which was a big fat lie for the last 8 years, anyway)

Carrie lost 5 pounds and Ashley lost another pound last week. The three of us have not had bread, sugar or pop for almost a month. We spend our evenings talking about non-scale victories like fitting into old clothes or no longer having the after-dinner bloat. We’re saving money by not buying high-carb, high-sugar snacks at the movies (or anywhere else).

Fat, Sick and Dying

Sat, 07 Jul 2018 00:00:00 +0000

“I’ve decided to lose weight.”

I’ve dreaded making one of these posts because if I don’t follow through, it’s just a documented example of my failure.

My liver enzymes came back really high this past month and I had to have an ultrasound to find out I’ve got nonalcoholic steatohepatitis.

It’s early in the disease, as stages go, but as Carrie has said - it’s the first hard evidence we have to make some changes. Up until now it was easy to cheat or go back to old eating habits because while I was fat, I was sort of healthy. I mean, I had no heart problems or blood pressure problems. But this diagnosis means that the last few years of joint pain and poor sleep and no activity is not just a sign of getting old. I’m wearing out.

Fort Impostor

Fri, 13 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

I have named my office “Fort Impostor” and this is my…manifesto.

“The Fraud Police are the imaginary, terrifying force of ‘real’ grown-ups who you believe – at some subconscious level – are going to come knocking on your door in the middle of the night, saying: We’ve been watching you, and we have evidence that you have NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOING. You stand accused of the crime of completely winging it, you are guilty of making shit up as you go along, you do not actually deserve your job, we are taking everything away, and we are TELLING EVERYBODY.” Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help

Death of a Bully

Wed, 28 Dec 2016 00:00:00 +0000

I found out after the fact that my bully from grade school died. He was not well liked by most people, if I remember correctly, but I was surprised at the outpouring of emotion online when his death was announced. A lot of years have passed in the interim and in hindsight, I suspect there were other factors at play. Perhaps he’d changed. Perhaps he didn’t grow up to be the insolent prick I knew him as. But that doesn’t change my feelings. His treatment of me (and others) affected my self-esteem for years.

Pokemon Go Incident

Thu, 21 Jul 2016 00:00:00 +0000

So we had a Pokémon Go incident a few days ago. This mother and son came to the office asking if they could catch the Pikachu that likes to hang around here.

I didn’t see a problem so I let them in.

Well the kid was super excited, running and jumping around everywhere. Well, he wasn’t looking where he was going, and he slammed his head into a shelf unit.

We Are The Champions

Mon, 06 Jun 2016 00:00:00 +0000

*Now, devotees may argue that one sport or game is inherently better than another. For me, sport is actually a chance for us to have other human beings push us to excel.*Robin Williams as John Keating, Dead Poets Society (1989)

If this blog somehow survives me and is read sometime in the future, I would be remiss if I didn’t include an entry today.

Last night I watched the Cleveland Cavaliers become the first major sports team in Cleveland to win a championship in my lifetime.

So Glad It Wasn't Me

Thu, 02 Jun 2016 00:00:00 +0000

I had to be part of someone else’s bad day, and it sucked.

Please keep confidential, unknown to at this time. Meeting is scheduled for 9:00 tomorrow, in the conference room. Please have someone get his laptop shortly after 9:00 and disable him from the system. Please also have someone discreetly gather his personal items from his work area and bring them to the conference room as quickly as possible.

The End of an Era

Fri, 29 Aug 2014 00:00:00 +0000

In November 2009 I started a journal to help myself deal with yet another car problem. Since then, I have added other writings to the journal and tried to make it a more full compendium of my digital journaling.

But it started with a car problem. Not just any car problem, but, at the time, the latest in a long line of car problems that was slowly squeezing my sanity. Hell, re-read some of these blog posts and see how often the car is the subject of any particular entry. That damned Saturn stole a lot of my life over the last 13 years.

Nerves of Jello

Thu, 24 Jul 2014 00:00:00 +0000

Ever have a really bad day? Or a bunch of bad days in a row? Me too. I’ve masked the names to protect the guilty.

For a very long time I have been aware that stress can take a toll on your health. But in my experience, it’s never been immediate like it has lately.

It started this past weekend with an on-call nightmare: I got two calls about Asterisk, (not my specialty) on Saturday. One guy just needed it started. He had rebooted his machine and now it didn’t work. Easy fix. But the call ruined my lunch. By the time I was done my frozen pizza was almost frozen again.

Probably the worst day ever

Thu, 13 Feb 2014 00:00:00 +0000

After it was all over, I knew I was going to have to write about it. I don’t know why. Perhaps I like re-reading my miserable days? Maybe there’s something inside of me that feels it necessary to document these things? My therapist asked me once why I write about my problems and then keep the results? Why don’t I write about them, then throw them away? I don’t know. Maybe that’s a good idea.

A Thanksgiving poem, in free verse.

Wed, 27 Nov 2013 00:00:00 +0000

St Charles of Thanksgiving the patron saint of the forgotten holiday presents A Thanksgiving poem, in free verse.

Give me your turkey, your stuffingYour extended family yearning for free foodRefuse thy retail temptationsOn this most holy day of feastingand footballand beer

While today ushers in the great holiday seasonLet us not forget the reason we gather togetherand it’s not for great pricesdeep discountsor doorbusters

Breaking bread with thy familyis rare enough these daysToday is the dayto stop and take a breathand relax

Open in case of Armageddon

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Posted on Facebook 2012-12-20

In light of the fact that tomorrow might be the last day of earth, I wanted to take this time to apologize and explain a number of things that I’ve been keeping inside for many years. Just in case tomorrow is NOT the last day of earth, I am keeping the list intentionally vague. You know who you are.

1974: As it turns out, it wasn’t cheese.
1975: You can hold your breath or vomit. Not both.
1978: Some poop isn’t squishy.
1981: Spandex.
1983: “Poco from Me-hi-co” really does wish you Happy New Year!
1984: socks are for feet only.
1985: Never smell found underpants.
1986: A rotten fart in a hot car can make you lose consciousness.
1987: Chickenpox on your balls is only funny for a minute.
1989: I swear it’s in that place I put that thing that time.
1990: I put a spell on you, and I’m scared that it actually worked.
1991: I know what you were doing, and I told everyone except you.
1993: Some poop isn’t squishy.
1996: Apparently, sometimes I will do it just for the money.
1998: You were right. I should have kept running.
1999: I was counting on being killed in the Y2K disaster.
2006: The lesbians LIED!
2009: Don’t keep it in your sock drawer. It’s the first place they look.
2010: I never liked them anyway.
2012: Don’t die without confessing all these things.

It's no wonder I'm fat

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 00:00:00 +0000

I'm Gonna Kick My Brain's Ass

Wed, 03 Oct 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Occam’s Razor states that

“Among competing hypotheses, the one which makes the fewest assumptions should be selected"Occam’s Razor

In other words, the simplest answer is usually correct.

On my way into work this morning, I stopped for gas and as I was driving in, I slowly became aware of an ominous clunking sound coming from the back of the car whenever I made a turn or went over a big bump. My first thought, of course, was that the rear axle has become separated from the car and fiery death was imminent.

In Defense of Thanksgiving

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 00:00:00 +0000

This was when St Charles of Thanksgiving was born.

Wherein I declare myself the founder of the “Defense of Thanksgiving Tradition Society”

I posted this to Facebook. I was my second try at taking out my frustrations on Christmas Creep. I called out a number of specific violations, but never tagged those offenders or really did anything about it. This one wasn’t as strong as Dear Santa.

In defense of Thanksgiving:

Dear Santa

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:00:00 +0000

My take on Christmas Creep. Originally posted on Facebook, I wanted to write something hateful, full of swearing and insults. In the end, I changed it to more of a “letter to the editor” type of thing.

Don’t think the irony of signing the letter, from “All of Us” was lost on me. If it’s good enough for the mice in that Christmas special, it was good enough for me here.

Famous for the wrong things

Sat, 04 Jun 2011 00:00:00 +0000

I took a picture once of my brother-in-law seated behind me on the bus on the way to work. I put it online. A few months later I got an email.

Hello, My name is Josh Hamilton and I am the CEO of an internet startup called yRidesyRides is a ridesharing website that helps people find or post carpools.Your photo at this link removed titled Weird Bus People we found humorous and thought it might be put to good use as a flyer. Would you be so kind as to let use the photo on some flyers? We haven’t made the flyer yet, but basically it would encourage people to not use the bus and to carpool instead.We understand that your licensing doesn’t allow for commercial use, but we would be grateful for your help as we are struggling start-up literally working out of a garage and living off ramen noodles.Looking forward to hearing from you.Sincerely, Josh Hamilton CEO yRides

The First ... LEON?

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:00:00 +0000

For a while I thought this might have been the ultimate goof. Someone thinking that if the lights were on the outside of the house, they needed to be backwards (to them) so that the words were forward (for us). Like writing on the outside of a window, for the people inside.

But then I decided that I was overthinking that explanation and that the owners just decided that Leon was pretty cool at Christmas.

Christmas Spirit Killer

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0000

For the very first time ever, Jim decided to make a dish to contribute to our office Xmas party. Jim’s most usual contribution to any office party is something easy like a 2-liter bottle of soda or just a cash donation.

Needless to say, we were all skeptical when he insisted that we’d be surprised when he showed up on party day with a homemade Taco Casserole.

Party day dawned and the unthinkable happened: Getting off the bus outside of work, Jim slipped on a patch of ice and down he went.

I'm fixing it!

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 00:00:00 +0000

Ok… it’s been all summer since I wrote a new blog post. Well, actually, I have been busy on another blog and of course, it’s almost Creepy Clevelandseason!

But today was kinda special. Today I made great progress in dealing with my horrible, irrational fear of my car by performing some ‘recommended maintenance’.

For the past year or so, every time I take the car to Firestone for an oil change, I get one of those ‘Recommended Services’ sheets and a cheerful smile at the end. The recommended services are always the same… fuel filter ($138), spark plugs and wires ($167) and a transmission flush (some non-affordable amount I don’t remember).

He's a pale fellow

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 00:00:00 +0000

So last night Carrie and Ashley and I went to see Jim Gaffigan. What a riot!! We got the tickets the moment they went on sale back in November, and it paid off when we got front row seats!! (Well, technically, there were three rows of folding chairs in front of us (what’s up with that?), but those seats were too close in my opinion; like sitting in the front row at the movies). He had an opening act, Rich Brooks, who was pretty funny, and he and Jim both stayed after the show to sign autographs and take pictures.

Ohhhh Fuuudge! (Again!)

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 00:00:00 +0000

What a difference a year makes!! Last year I surprised my wife and daughter by driving by the site of the house where they filmed some scenes from that Christmas Classic “A Christmas Story” What a surprise to find out that we were invited in, and they were planning on renovating the house to it’s big screen glory and opening it up to the public!

See that tan house on the right of the picture? That’s what we were in line to see.

Nobody Believes A Headache

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 00:00:00 +0000

Have you ever had a headache? Sure you have. Have you ever tried to explain the pain to someone else? Using words like “splitting”, “aching”, “throbbing” or “tumor”? Do you think they have any idea how you really feel?

I had another of “my headaches” today. Woke up with it, took some aspirin, it got a little better, aspirin wore off, it came back way worse. It got so bad that I was getting nauseous and a little nervous. I’ve had bad headaches, but this was a “top-ten-ever” kinda headache, so I told my boss I was taking the rest of the afternoon off. As I packed up my stuff to come home, I told the guys in the office why I was leaving and got the impression that they really didn’t know how bad it was. Since I get these bad migraines every once in a while, this wasn’t the first time I’ve left work because of one. I was afraid of leaving the impression that I just wanted to slack off for the rest of the day, and knew that I could say the word “headache” and there would be no questions asked.

Just like downtown

Fri, 05 May 2006 00:00:00 +0000

Every payday for the last few months, I’ve been walking to the bank at lunch. I get some cash for our Westside Market trip on Saturday and a roll of quarters for laundry at home. I also get myself a little lunch money and treat myself to a lunch in the big city.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’d enjoy dining alone every day. Once every couple weeks, however, is kind of cool. Lunch is usually a couple slices of pizza from Sgt. Pepperoni’s in the Arcade, but sometimes it’s an Italian Sub from Quizno’s or a Ham ’n Turkey from Subway. Whatever is on the menu, the atmosphere is the real attraction.

Ohhh... Fudge!

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 00:00:00 +0000

A Christmas Story House, Cleveland, circa 2005

On the way home from the Westside Market today, I decided to surprise Carrie and Ashley by taking them over to the house that “A Christmas Story” was filmed at. It took them both a couple of minutes to figure out where I had taken them, since the house has been renovated significantly since the movie was filmed, but imagine our surprise when we were all invited inside for a tour!

Just in time for Thanksgiving

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 00:00:00 +0000

Last night, Thanksgiving tapped me on the shoulder. Let me explain.

There I was standing on Superior waiting for my bus to go home and looking right into the snow and wind. I kept hunching my shoulders and turning around to avoid the cold and thinking to myself how much I hate winter and I hate the cold and I can’t believe they didn’t let us go home early and it’s so freaking cold and everything sucks, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Pre-Winter Car Freakout

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 00:00:00 +0000

First of all, let me apologize in advance if the following sounds a bit, well, severe. It’s had all morning to bake in my head until it was golden brown and ready to be served…

I woke up this morning and turned on the news as usual. What did I see?

IT’S SNOWING!! Yes, goddamn it, it’s snowing already. It’s not even Thanksgiving! You know what that means? It means winter is here. I hate winter. I hate the cold with a passion normally reserved for war criminals and Ravens fans. There I was standing out at the bus stop freezing my balls off and thinking about winter. And when I think about winter I don’t think about snowmen and Christmas carols and spiced apple-cider. I think about my car.

Headache Day #1,378

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 00:00:00 +0000

Ok, so I’m about eight hours into one of my all-day-headaches. I get a headache of some sort almost every day, and usually a couple Excedrin in the morning gets me right for the rest of the day.

This is not one of those days.

I think I dreamed myself into this headache because I woke up with it. Or rather, this headache woke me up. I remember having some kind of complex dream about work. I’m trying to integrate a database and some existing documents to generate documents on-the-fly for one of the departments and with the deadline fast-approaching, I’m stuck on where to begin. Nevertheless, it’s enough to give me a headache when I’m awake, let alone in a dream.

I might be a redneck

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 00:00:00 +0000

I miiight be a redneck…

Ok, boys and girls, gather ‘round for another chapter of"I Hate My Car!"

Yesterday, while driving around, I heard a thud followed by a series of smaller thuds. Upon arriving at our destination, I checked it out and found out that the muffler strap that I just had put on 18 months ago had rusted through. The original muffler strap lasted 5 years. The replacement lasted a year and a half. Damn it.

Things that make you go... BOOM!

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 00:00:00 +0000

So we wake up this morning to a phone call. The first thought that goes through my head was…“Oh, shit! Who died now??”

As it turns out - nobody died.

Joe got in a car accident this morning out in North Royalton. It seems he was hit in the tire. (yeah - in the driver’s side tire. That’s it. To look at the car, you’d never know anything was wrong - no body damage at all.) The tie rod is all bent at a 45-degree angle and the strut is bent too. Luckily, the lady that hit him admitted fault completely and turned everything over to her insurance company. He had the car towed to North Olmsted Dodge, and we went out to North Royalton to pick him up. He’s getting a loaner car on Monday, so I’m playing chauffeur all weekend.

A Super Bowl and a Super Bill

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 00:00:00 +0000

A Super Bowl and a Super Bill.

So we went to Divot’s for the Super Bowl last night. We had a designated driver, so I’m lucky I even remember the final score. Had a great time, hung out with family and friends and even had my picture taken with my heroes:

IM000338.JPG

This morning after the worst part of the hang-over had passed Carrie and I finally dragged ourselves out and took the car to Firestone to see what the hell that grind-y, clunky noise was.

What the hell is that noise?

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 00:00:00 +0000

Those of you who know me, know how much I love my car. (See: I’m Scared of My Car for a refresher). So a couple of weeks ago I started noticing odd noises coming from the back of the car. Sort of a squeaking sound, not unlike the sound my computer chair makes when I lean too far backward in it. Even Carrie started hearing the noise about a week ago - so I know I’m not crazy, it’s getting worse. At first, we thought that there was something rolling and banging around in the trunk. I checked and repacked the spare tire and jack. Still noisy. I moved all the crap we keep in the trunk around a little and tried to recreate the noise by shaking things. Nothing.

I'm Scared of My Car

Thu, 06 Feb 2003 00:00:00 +0000

It’s no secret I hated my 1997 Saturn SL2. Shortly after I bought it, I started having troubles with it. I also started having stress issues that took me years and years to work through.

Now, I’m not saying the car made me crazy.

But it helped.

A classic (in my own mind). I have had a lot of problems with my car and am admittedly way too obsessed with it. Writing this helped me through one of those times when I was ready to drive it back to the dealership and put a bullet in it.