Yesterday morning I achieved the century mark in weight loss. After stalling at 90-something pounds down since the beginning of the year, yesterday I officially lost 100 pounds! I said that when I saw 234 on the scale I would take a picture and post it on Facebook and make a big deal out of it.
Well here’s the picture. There has yet to be a Facebook post. Or a big deal.
Not to belittle this achievement in the slightest – but, it felt very natural. Even after stalling and feeling like I was never going to lose pounds again.
This weekend was the first time in recent memory I sent a non-empty plate back to the kitchen at a restaurant. I had only one serving at dinner because I honestly did not want more.
It’s taken seven months to start to train my brain to see smaller portions and my stomach to accept them. Even recently, I still had anxiety when seeing a plate of food in front of me that wasn’t heaping. “That’s not enough” my brain would automatically cry. Even though it was enough. By the time the plate was empty, I was satisfied.
At home, Carrie would ask “How many hamburgers do you want?” While last year I would easily answer “three!” in the last several months I’ve learned to say “two, please!”. Well, yesterday I said, “One.” I realized that very much like my knee-jerk reaction to seeing a not-full plate, my brain could not accept that only one piece of anything would be enough. But again, it was.
I am enjoying feeling not-bloated, not-full and a little bit hungry at almost all times.
The needle of the scale is moving again and that’s a good thing. But the bigger achievement this weekend was my awareness of how much I want to eat.
And it’s a lot smaller than it used to be. Like me.